“What the hell just
happened?!”
Trixie ripped her hand
from Lloyd’s grasp and clutched it close to her body. “Seriously, are ya some kinda sorcerer or
somethin’?” she demanded, stepping backward as if he’d turned into some horrid
man-spider.
Lloyd shook his head,
and left his hand hovering in the air.
“Last I checked I wasn’t.” He
stroked his chin and turned aside.
“Though it IS possible that, since the accident, I’ve become an esper.”
“Would ya stop sayin’ weird stuff for one
second and explain what’s going on?”
“Right. I suppose I should give you a quick rundown,”
said Lloyd as he shuffled a foot through the water.
“Well, this is just
conjecture for now, but I’m assuming that thanks to my ability I entered your
subconscious and positively affected your innermost thoughts and desires,
thereby allowing you to know real happiness and actively move toward pursuing
your dream, no matter what obstacle you need to surmount.” He sniffled a bit. “Hmmm.
I think there’s still a little sea water in my lungs.”
“Well…” Lloyd furrowed his brow -- come to think of
it, just what had he accomplished in the audition room? He hadn’t exactly tried to make her his
devoted harem girl; if anything, he gave her an impetus to go about her
business and bail out of Porbeagle once finished. Arguably, he’d made his situation worse. “I suppose I wanted to see if I could make
you feel better before I did anything else.
On that note, DO you feel better?”
Trixie -- still
treating Lloyd like some diseased witch doctor -- looked to the boardwalk’s
underside with a slight frown. “I wasn’t
exactly feeling too bad in the first place, pal.”
So in the end, my efforts led to failure? Lloyd pressed a hand to his forehead. Damn
it all. And I was so certain that I’d
succeeded. With the display that a
four-star level had wrought, I assumed I’d done my duty. He glanced at Trixie, studying her form with a
sharp eye (and lingering for a moment on her chest); she’d gone back to her
standard posture, neither overly cautious nor bursting with brazen pride.
The four-star level should have helped her reach her emotional zenith,
and -- if my guess was correct -- stabilized her without any more intervention
from me. That was why, when I entered
the room the second time, she’d fallen to a half-star. Her mood must have plummeted in my
absence…because I let myself leave without finishing the job.
Was my theory wrong? Was I able
to correct my mistake? Was everything I
did just a process of ineffectuality?
No, I refuse to believe it. What
I did could never be for naught; if boosting her star count to one and a half
made her slightly happier, then a full four stars must have her in a state of
pure elation!
Lloyd nodded;
postulating would only do so much good.
If he wanted the truth, he had to find it for himself. “Miss Walters! A word, if you’d be so --“
He looked around. Trixie was nowhere in sight.
“By the wine god,
Dionysius!” he exclaimed, leaning forward and adjusting his glasses. “Could it be that she’s discovered the art of
illusion? To think she could obscure
herself with such magicks!”
“I’m behind ya, ya
weirdo!” Trixie called out.
“Oh. Well, I suppose that makes sense, too.” He swiveled around to find Trixie sifting her
hands through the water, with a face much calmer than before. Hopefully, she’d given up on her designs to
bash his face into the back of his skull.
“You’re really devoted to this, aren’t you?” he asked.
“I guess so.”
“Fair enough. We all have our priorities.”
Trixie nodded in
agreement, but a moment later her hands stopped moving; she just held them in
place, letting the water speed between her fingers. “Ya know…it’s the craziest thing.”
“What is?”
“You. How can one guy be so stupid and crazy one
minute, and then all smart and nice the next?
I don’t get ya at all.” Her eyes
drifted across the surface -- not for the sake of finding some lost item, but rather
absentmindedly. Almost as if she wanted
an excuse not to look at Lloyd. “I never
woulda guessed ya could look so…serious.”
Lloyd pointed to
himself, eyes wide. He just figured he
was playing around, as per his standard.
Did she see him differently?
Trixie sighed and
rubbed her hair, unfazed by the now-dampened locks on her crown. “I may not know what ya might be, or what ya
can do, but…I know you’re not a bad guy.
It almost feels like…like…”
Like you can trust me? Lloyd thought. Or
could it be that it goes a step beyond?
He shook his head. If ever there
was a time to try his luck, this was it.
“How would you like to stay with my family, Miss Walters?”
“…Okay, so how many
drugs are ya on, pal?”
“None that I know
of.” Lloyd held out a hand -- but,
noticing that Trixie seemed wary of any more handshake-mind-melding, he pulled
it back. “To paraphrase what I said
earlier, I can’t allow myself to leave a woman in a sorry state of
affairs. I know that such applies to you
--”
“How the hell did ya figure that out?”
“I’ll explain
everything once we’ve returned to solid ground,” Lloyd answered. “For now, I hope you’re willing to put your
faith in me, Miss Walters -- as I’m willing to have faith in you.”
“Ya sure know how to
sweet-talk a lady, don’t ya?”
“Given my track record,
I would disagree,” Lloyd said with a smile.
Trixie groaned and
looked back to Porbeagle’s shore. Those
construction workers could get to work at any moment in the next few days, and
bring down High Tide Park atop her head.
Even beyond that, they -- and likely plenty of townsfolk -- would notice
the woman routinely spending her time shifting through the water under the
boardwalk. In the worst case scenario,
they might force her to stop, even if it meant getting the authorities
involved. All things considered, she
probably didn’t want that. “I guess I
should at least call it a day,” she said at last.
“So you’ll come with
me?”
“Whoa there. I didn’t say that. I don’t think you’re a bad guy or anything --
just really, REALLY stupid -- but don’t ya think it’d cause some problems if I
started hangin’ out with a kid?”
Lloyd pouted. “I’m almost
eighteen, if that helps.”
“When do ya turn?”
“About nine months from
now.”
“Lloyd, I appreciate
the offer, and all the help ya been tryin’ to give me. Really, I do.
But I’m a grown woman. I can take
care of myself.”
“Can I at least come
visit you from time to time? Where are
you staying? It would be a pleasure to
learn more about you over the course of your visit.”
“Eh…uh…well…” Trixie, reddening once more, turned aside and
stroked her cheek. “I got this motel
room a few blocks over that way.”
“Which way?”
She raised a wobbly
finger, and pointed towards some point in the distance -- one that, if Lloyd
didn’t know any better, looked like it was lodged a few dozen yards from the
shore.
“You…you DO have some
place to stay, don’t you?”
“Y-yeah, of course I
do! What, ya think I’m some kinda damsel
in distress? Huh? Do ya?!” Trixie snapped, leaning forward, and
her voice booming with enough force to send Lloyd tumbling. With a quick sigh, she leaned back and
regained her cool, and looked to Porbeagle’s streets. “Jeez.
It’s not like I’ve been livin’ in a dumpster or anything.”
Lloyd stared blankly at
her. “Have you?”
“No.”
“Have you?”
“No.”
“Have you?”
“I found a nice, comfy
box to use. Plus I got some construction
paper to use as sheets.”
Lloyd stared blankly at
her.
“…All right, let’s go.”
*
The lightbulb let out a
buzzing hum as it swayed above the table.
If not for its cone of light, the kitchen would have stayed shrouded in
darkness -- save for the street lamps in the distance prodding their way
through the night and the windows.
Trixie sat at the edge of her seat,
legs shoved together and hands gripping her knees; she couldn’t bring
herself to look through the cramped room and toward the table, so she just ran
her eyes over the magnets on the fridge.
She counted their number over and over, hoping that she wouldn’t reveal
her reddened face.
All three Hoigleheimers
sat at the table, refusing to say a word.
JP leaned back in his chair, hands tucked behind his head and eyes
closed as if trying to doze off. Patton
rested his meaty elbows on the table, resting his chin behind steepled
hands. Lloyd sat in place with his arms
folded, and one leg crossed over the other.
Trixie could only see him from behind, but she managed to catch a
glimpse of his right hand -- every so often, tightening around his left bicep. For a minute she thought about dashing out of
the room, if only for the chance to take in some lighter air.
And then, finally, JP
leaned his chair forward. “Your
Kentucky-fried guest has got to go,” he declared, sliding his hands into his
jacket’s pocket.
Lloyd slammed a hand on
the table. “Unacceptable! You would have me throw a sweet, innocent, svelte,
undeniably sexual young woman out on the streets?!”
Trixie opened her mouth
to object, but decided against it.
“That’s exactly what
I’m saying,” said JP, almost with a tone of boredom. He scratched idly at the side of his
head. “Well, not exactly. Dad could probably throw her out better than
you could.”
“S-such
cold-heartedness! Dad, tell me you
wouldn’t --!”
Patton shifted like a
glacier, and turned his head a bit toward one of the windows. “Mmmmmmm…I wonder what your mother would say
if she were here. Probably wouldn’t want
you boys getting mixed up by having another woman in the house.” He sighed wistfully. “Ah, the good old days…she made me go through
all these old family rituals to make sure we had sons only. If we had a daughter, I don’t even wanna think about how fast she’d send you
floating down a river. Or…maybe the
ocean?”
Trixie’s throat clamped
shut.
“So you’re against me
as well? For shame, father!” Lloyd slapped his palm on the table
again. “For shame! You, the family patriarch, still haunted by a
ghost from the past? Unable to think for
yourself, and act on virtue rather than outmoded orders?”
“You’re missing the
point,” said JP, peeking at Lloyd from the corner of one eye. “Where are we going to keep her? How are we going to keep her fed? And…”
He shot a look at her, forcing her to shift her eyes away as fast as she
could. “If she’s in some kind of trouble
with the law, do you really want to get involved in that?”
“If it’s to help the
fairer sex, I would gladly gallivant through Pandaemonium itself! All I need is a map and a flashlight and a
fair amount of snacks for the trip, and I’d return with the head of the fallen
one himself!”
Patton raised an
eyebrow. “Beef jerky?”
“I was thinking more
along the lines of a few fruit pies.”
Trixie tilted her head,
and her mouth hung open and askew.
Patton ran a hand
through his hair. “Well…dang. I guess I did say if you could prove
yourself, we’d help out. Can’t back
outta that now.” He shifted an eye
toward Trixie, then back to Lloyd.
“You’re gonna take responsibility for her, right?”
“Of course!”
“And no funny business
while she stays here?”
“I wouldn’t dream of
it!”
JP leaned forward. “Hey!
Hey! Isn’t anyone here going to
use any common sense here? I know that’s
in short supply around here, but still!
Don’t let her stay here!”
“I’m afraid you’ve
failed to take a certain factor into consideration, little brother.” Lloyd brushed at his bangs and smiled
triumphantly. “Another member of this
household -- however temporary -- means another potential set of hands. Given her fortitude, I’d wager she’d make an excellent contributor to our society’s
well being…and I’m sure they’ll pay her handsomely as tribute.”
JP opened his mouth
wide to yell more, but froze in place.
He crammed a hand into his pocket and whipped out his calculator. “Son of a…you’re right! Taking into account the average pay rates
around Porbeagle…factoring in the number of jobs available as of last
Tuesday…subtracting the time needed for her applications to be accepted -- no,
even better. She can just help out with
Dad’s work, and instantly increase production rates by…two, maybe three
times! Yes, this just might…!” He stashed the calculator and glared at
Trixie, and then glared twice as fiercely at Lloyd. “All right.
I’ll allow it.”
Lloyd nodded. Trixie bowed her head, and let loose a sigh
she’d been holding in for hours.
“But let’s get one
thing straight: I’m gonna put her ass to work.
If she’s not willing to pull her
weight…” He shook his head. “One point
two eight times her weight, I’m mailing her back to old MacDonald’s farm myself.”
“Hey. Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves,” said
Patton. “There’s still one thing we need
to know about her.”
“Yeah, that’s
true.” JP pressed a hand to his
chin. “Where she came from, who’s after
her, and this talk about treasure…among other things, right?”
“Actually, I just
wanted to know if she liked steaks.
‘Cause if she’s one of those weird people that likes…” He let loose a snort. “Artichokes…then
I’d kick her to the curb myself.” He
turned to Trixie, popping his knuckles in preparation for the deed. “You like steaks, right? Steaks are good for you. Good for the soul. If you don’t like ‘em, I just might have to
get a little rough with you -- like this one time when I met this tuba player
--”
Trixie jerked out a
nod.
“All right, big guy,
cool your jets,” said JP, getting up and pressing his hands against the big
guy’s shoulder. “The last thing we need
is another bloodstain in the kitchen.
It’s not exactly homely to begin with, and I doubt the police will enjoy
starting another investigation in this cramped old place.”
Trixie looked down at
the floor. For a minute, she thought she
caught a glimpse of the remains of a white outline.
Lloyd leapt out of his
chair and tugged Trixie out of the room.
“Fantastic, then! Miss Walters,
you can stay with me in my room! Oh, the
fun we’ll have, trading beauty secrets and talking about nail polish and
forming the foundation of our island-sprawling heaven and the cute boys we
like…” As Trixie stumbled behind him, he
raised his eyebrows. “Oh wait. Pretend you didn’t hear that one part -- the
one about the nail polish. As I
understand it, that’s a topic most women prefer not to discuss so
liberally.” He let go of her to clap his
hands rapidly, and raised a leg like a schoolgirl about to have her sweet
sixteen. “Oooooh, we’re gonna have so
much fun tonight! I doubt I’ll even be
able to get to sleep!”
“You’d better,” Patton
called out from the kitchen. “You got
school tomorrow. You gotta show how
manly you are, now that you’re a senior.”
“True enough, dear
father,” Lloyd sang back. “And once I
discover what shampoo Miss Walters uses, doubtless I’ll be the most popular,
most dapper gent in the history of high school!”
Trixie frowned. Maybe I
should’ve stayed on the streets…
No comments:
Post a Comment