I’ve always believed that you can make any story
sound bizarre if you describe it as directly and plainly as possible. I mean, have you ever really put much thought
into Harry Potter? “A young boy who lives in his abusive
family’s cupboard finds out that he defeated an all-powerful evil wizard as a
baby, and is whisked off to a British castle so he can go to a school for
wizards.” There’s a lot to unpack there,
but context in-universe makes it easier to swallow. That’s true of every story, I bet. Break it down to those base elements --
removed of context and flourishes -- and you’re bound to get something
bizarre.
With that in mind, maybe JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is deserving of its name for a
reason. Some of the stuff in the last
post -- and this one, inevitably -- sounds absolutely insane, and it feels like
it’d take a conversation just to explain a conversation. What’s a Joestar? What’s Hamon?
What’s a Stand? And so on, and so
forth. It’s not to JoJo’s detriment, of course, but it does make for a harder
sell. Though now that I think about it,
I’d LOVE to see some kind of “Parents react to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure” video someday. If it’s anything like having
mothers describe Overwatch characters,
it’ll be a hoot.
Enough of that, though. It’s time to get back to action, and the
thrust of my argument: Stands in Stardust Crusaders are the embodiments
of what you want to be, but fail at being.
Am I wrong? Am I right? Judge for yourself, because I’ll make a case
with the core six characters of the series.
Also, get ready, because I’m about to spoil the CRAP out of Stardust Crusaders. But I would’ve guessed that I’m the last
horse to cross the finish line, soooooooooooooo…if you haven’t watched the show
yet, fix that.
Joseph
Joestar!!
From what I can gather, Joseph is THE most beloved
JoJo. Maybe not the most popular -- that
honor no doubt goes to Jotaro -- but it’s not hard to see why. Whether it’s his Part 2 or Part 3
incarnation, he’s a hell of a lot of fun to watch in action. And much like the franchise at large, there’s
more to him than just a mass of memes.
So why the hell is his Stand a bunch of vines? What does that say about him, given that one
of the mouthiest leads in the franchise gets a spiritual manifestation that
doesn’t even have a face?
Well, think of it this way: does Joseph even need to have his inner self laid
bare? His personality was on full
display back in Battle Tendency, and
he displays it yet again throughout the franchise’s third outing (more so than
his grandson and the ostensible main character, in fact). His stage presence is nothing short of
overwhelming, though it’s different going from one saga to another. Some think that it’s a turn for the worse,
while I think it’s a natural, welcome evolution of his character.
So here’s the clincher. Joseph may not need an overstated Stand
(least of all because he still has Hamon to fall back on). But he still has desires -- and in this case,
he wants to be the resolver.
Hermit Purple is supposed to be among one of the
weakest Stands around; depending on how you look at it, however, it’s actually
the secret S-tier Stand. I started out
thinking that it only worked when Joseph destroyed a camera, but it seems like
it’s capable of doing whatever the plot needs dishing out information
and manipulating elements (apparently it can help with mind-reading). The ability to scoop up information --
especially information that gets the plot in motion in the first place -- seems
like it could make for a hell of an advantage, even more so than the average
ORA ORA ORA.
Whatever the case, Joseph in Part 3 isn’t the same
as he was in Part 2. He’s significantly
older and (maybe) wiser, burdened with responsibilities from all angles. There’s no way he can be the same joker he
was fifty years ago, especially with DIO breathing down their necks; naturally,
it leads to one scene after another where Joseph’s center stage, giving orders
and making sure that the people around him -- ally, bystander, and everyone in
between -- stays safe. He’s more of a
leader than Jotaro in that respect.
The problem, of course, is that Joseph’s time has
passed. Yes, he goes a long way towards
trying to solve the messes that come his way (immediate and overarching), but
in the end he can’t quite pull it off.
He gets some licks against enemy Stand users, sure, yet it’s Jotaro and
his lone wolf tactics/affect that crush nearly everything in their path, or
land the finishing blow. Plus, it was
practically a given that it’d be the new blood that beat DIO, not an old-timer
who already lucked his way into banishing the ultimate life form to an eternity
of drifting among the stars. The
youngsters need their time to shine.
What I’m getting at here is that Joseph wants to
be the man that fixes everything -- with his powers, with his experience, with
his resources, with whatever he’s got -- but he’s ultimately unable to seal the
deal in the way that Jotaro can. Much
like Hermit Purple, he can do a lot, but he can’t do everything (though I got a
kick out of seeing the old man do his best web-slinger impression -- as one
should). The saving grace is that
Joseph’s sheer force of personality means that he doesn’t need to show off some
hidden side to himself; he is what he is, and that’s what you’ll get without
filter every time you run into him. And
in turn, that makes his Stand’s true nature much more direct. No one has the power to be Mr. Fixit.
Well, there might be one person out there. But we’ll get to him another day, maybe.
Muhammad
Avdol!!
That was one of my earliest experiences with
Avdol, and to say it colored my expectations would be an understatement the
size of a blue whale on steroids. I went
in expecting to see a sick badass, and came out with…well, I still think he’s a
sick badass, and I’ve got no problems admitting that he’s still my favorite
character. It’s probably got something
to do with the fact that he’s one of the scant few black guys in anime who
are…uh, not…that. Granted he’s Egyptian, but that’s in Africa, so just let me have this
one. I need someone to project onto,
too.
If you haven’t seen JoJo, then I’ll be upfront: the Avdol in that clip -- and that
scene at large -- isn’t the same one throughout the rest of Part 3. I’m OK with that because I still see Avdol as
a cool guy, but those expecting a character that spews lots of Engrish and
pretends to be a cigarette lighter are in for disappointment. Then again, maybe that’s the entire
point. Not the disappointment part, oh
no; it’s that maybe, just maybe, Avdol isn’t the guy he wants to be. Instead, he has to live vicariously through
his Stand, Magician’s Red -- a bird, as it so happens. And we all know the symbolism behind that,
yes?
For Avdol, his Stand embodies the fact that he
wants to be free. On the surface -- i.e. throughout the
majority of Part 3’s run -- he’s a composed and reasonable fellow. When we’re first introduced to him, he’s more
or less the loyal follower and supporter of Joseph; in the episodes that
follow, he acts as one of the most mature members of the Stardust Crusaders,
maybe even more so than Mr. Joestar despite the age gap. Avdol even gets called out on it at one
point, and named (derisively) as the one who’s always playing to the mature,
cool archetype.
But that’s impossible, right? How can Avdol be calm and cool when his Stand
revolves almost exclusively around
playing with fire? He should be the most
hot-blooded mofo around! But he
isn’t. Not on the surface, at least. There are times when he shows flashes of
anger and passion, for sure; in one instance, he’s about ready to deck
Polnareff for mouthing off, and Joseph has to hold him back before the teeth
start flying. But more often than not,
he’s in control and using his head. He
pretty much has to; up until the last few episodes, no one knows their enemy
better than he does.
(Real talk: I know Avdol gets crap for running
away from DIO, but he made the right choice.
That’s the choice I would’ve made, at least -- assuming I didn’t die on
the spot.)
I think that there are two layers to Avdol’s
hidden (and unfulfilled) desire. The
obvious one is that he wants to be free to lash out -- to be more than just the
Smithers to Joseph’s Burns. It’s
understandable, of course; people want to be trailblazers in control of their
lives, free to make their own way without having to bow down to a superior. How do you think Avdol feels, having to
constantly play the level-headed assistant to everyone around him? Is it any wonder that his Stand strikes a ton
of dynamic poses, as a way to assert his presence and ability to do whatever he
wants?
On the other hand, it’s not quite that
simple. Avdol may not always want to
play the role of Smithers, but I think it’d be a bit to reckless to assume that
he hates it. He could’ve run away from
the battle with DIO the moment he found out about the vampire, but instead decided
to follow through on the journey.
There’s a part of him, I think, that enjoys playing the role he
has. The Mariah fight (such as it is) gives him
a chance to show off a different side of himself, and he -- in a bit of meta
commentary -- asserts that he’s not supposed to be this kind of character. He has a role that he sticks to, and has
grown accustomed to it. So what’s the
problem?
I can take a guess. Maybe Avdol is afraid of being himself -- and
being free in general.
Last time I checked, fire is pretty lethal (though
it’s the smoke you have to worry about as much as the flames). Even if Avdol can mold and twist the flames
at will, they’re still more than capable of murdering people and dishing out
incredible collateral damage…well, except for that time he set Polnareff on
fire, but whatever. If he ever lost
control -- of his Stand, or his personality -- then Avdol would do unforgivable
amounts of harm. So given that, he
pretty much has to be in
control. He notes late in the series
that he is, ultimately, a man too governed by his emotions to keep the cool
head needed for victory (which is what makes Jotaro so adept at taking down
enemies). Much as he hates to admit it,
the fortune teller needs to be chained up so someone doesn’t get hurt.
So Avdol is stuck between a role that he wants, and
a role he doesn’t want. He’s a man who
has to be cool, but wants to be hot,
but also wants to be cool. He’s a conflicted person, basically, and
Magician’s Red only makes his decision that much harder to make. In the end, though, Avdol does more or less
settle for being the cool, loyal supporter.
Was it the right choice? I don’t
know. Playing that role ends up costing
him his life -- twice -- but I doubt he has any regrets.
But man…Avdol got a raw fuckin’ deal in this
series. Araki-sensei, any chance we can
get an Avdol Gaiden? Or AvdoLion?
Noriaki
Kakyoin!!
Avdol’s my favorite character in Stardust Crusaders and always will be,
but I’ve got no problems admitting that Kakyoin’s right up there with him. He’s got all of these delightful “blink and
you’ll miss it” moments of weirdness.
Even though the whole “rero rero rero” bit has ascended into legendary
meme status, it becomes even weirder in context; Kakyoin ended up doing
the exact same thing an obvious
fake did for reasons only a mountain sage could understand. Apparently he sunbathes in a school uniform
he never takes off, can instantly deduce bizarre hand signals so he can engage
in esoteric handshakes, and he’s got no problems feeding a baby its own
poop. He may come off as a savvy
charmer, but it’s no stretch to assume that he’s the weirdest of the Crusaders
-- and that’s saying something.
In any case, Kakyoin makes a lot of good plays on
the team’s way to Egypt/a vampire ass-kicking.
Even though all of the characters show a decisive amount of
intelligence, he’s the overtly smart one.
He pretty much has to be; Star Platinum and Magician’s Red are ripped,
while his Hierophant Green is barely a cut above the average man (if
that). Still, his Stand makes up for it
with versatility and ability. Whether
it’s with far-reaching tentacles, possession, or just the tried-and-true flurry
of projectiles, Kakyoin has an answer to a number of situations. Makes sense; after all, I’d argue that
Kakoyin wants to be the one in control.
At the start of Part 3, he’s under the control of
one of DIO’s flesh buds, so he has no choice but to do evil as his master
commands. Then again, it may be a
situation where DIO didn’t actually have to force Kakyoin to do anything; that
is, the flesh bud simply brought his dark, dormant desires to the forefront. While “evil”, he’s more than willing to
carry around a puppet to “symbolize” his “genius”, which isn’t the smartest
move when you’re up against Jotaro. More
pressingly, though? He uses Hierophant
Green to take control of an innocent, and never uses it again. Good guys have standards, after all.
Still, I’d bet that the thought crossed his mind a
few times. He doesn’t get a ton of
opportunities to use it against enemy Stand users, to be fair (they tend to
stay hidden and snipe at the Crusaders from hiding), but his route to victory
is obvious and simple. “If I can get my
Hierophant inside them, then I can stop them,” he might think. Or to be more direct, “If I can get my
Hierophant inside them, I can remove their free will and have them do exactly
what I want.” Okay, that’s not even
remotely more direct. But work with me
here.
Kakyoin’s life would be a lot easier if he could
just have people move as he dictates, with or without Stands. Everyone’s would, if we’re being honest. Still, he knows that doing so would cross a
boundary that only a straight-up villain would leap over. He doesn’t want to go that far, but I suspect
that he’s at least thirsty for something he can’t get under normal
circumstances. It’s revealed late in the
anime that he was alone and alienated as a child, ostracized because of his
Stand powers (which only other Stand users can see). Fair point, but there’s a disconnection
that’s worth mulling over: did others reject Kakyoin because their sixth sense
took heed of his otherness? Or did
Kakyoin reject others because he felt like no one could ever understand him
unless they could know about his Stand?
From what I can gather, it’s more the latter than the former.
That would imply that Mr. Cherry-Licker isn’t
quite the hero, innocent, or victim he’s made out to be -- but it’s not too big
an issue. It’s a part of his character,
the weakness in his heart that he’s forced to acknowledge. More than any other Crusader, Kakyoin stares
his fears and doubts in the face, his self-doubt in particular. His inability to be the victor or mastermind
is one thing, but the fact that he’s left shaken so regularly -- even by a baby
-- has to weigh down on him. Controlling
others means that he can minimize his exposure and damning self-reflection…but
maybe, more than anything else, the one Kakyoin wants to control is Kakyoin himself.
…That’s some heavy shit. Let’s take a moment to laugh at something
delightfully irreverent.
And that’ll just about do it for now. Check back soon, and I’ll round things out
with the other Crusaders. And maybe then
I can finally get to talking about Phantom
Blood. Because sometimes in order to
go forward, you have to go backward.
I’m sure that line makes sense to someone,
somewhere, somehow.
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